


The Clan: A Journey of being Lost, being Guilty, and becoming Beautiful

by ReeLeeV



Category: Beautiful - Monsta X (Music Video), Fighter - Monsta X (Music Video), Monsta X (Band), 걸어 | All in - Monsta X (Music Video)
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - All In (Music Video), Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Angst, Canon Compliant, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-28
Updated: 2017-07-05
Packaged: 2018-10-24 21:29:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10750173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReeLeeV/pseuds/ReeLeeV
Summary: Jooheon gathers up a ragtag team of boys, each with different skills that he needs to bring about the oppressive government that's taken over their country. Will he succeed, or will it all fall apart?Basically my way of finding a connection through MONSTA X's Clan series... (because we all know how notoriously ambiguous it was)I will dive into each of the music videos within the series and draw connections between each. Basically, it's my way of dealing with the fact Starship never gave us a clear resolution to the series as a whole, ahah. (Honeslty may split this all up into a series late if it gets to be too long, ahah, we'll just see how it goes.)





	1. Lost: Chapter One

Kihyun ducks through the doorway, twisting to avoid the door halfly hanging on its hinges. He glances around the somewhat demolished home, sighing at seeing he’s the only one there. He swears, if the others aren’t back by sundown he isn’t even going to bother cooking them dinner.

The short male hobbles over to the musty couch, and is met with a cloud of dust as he plops down on the cushions leaking with stuffing. He sets his crutches off to the side, absentmindedly glancing down at his leg. He finds himself wishing yet again that things were different. If he hadn’t have fought in the stupid rebellion, both his legs would be just fine. He’d be able to help out a lot more now, other than just cooking for his friends and moving around in the shadows to find them suitable places to squat.

“Hyung!” Changkyun’s voice suddenly calls, breaking through the silence. Kihyun glances up, raising an expectant brow as the younger enters the home. Changkyun’s blank expression breaks out into a grin at seeing Kihyun, and immediately goes to sit beside him. He lies down, resting his head on Kihyun’s lap.

“I’m glad to see you back on time, for once,” Kihyun comments as he begins to comb through Changkyun’s dark locks. It’s much shorter than usual, a haircut gone awry. It’s the last time Kihyun lets Minhyuk around Changkyun’s precious head with a pair of scissors in his hands. Changkyun’s eyes meet Kihyun’s, a pout contorting his features.

“The others actually sent me ahead,” Changkyun admits, chuckling at Kihyun’s exasperated groan. “Jooheon-hyung asked me to tell you that they’re going to be running late tonight. He said if you could hold off on cooking dinner for an hour, it’d be great.”

“A whole hour?” Kihyun asks, alarm filling his mind. Just what are the others out there doing that’s going to take so long? Changkyun hums affirmatively, as if it wasn’t a big deal. “What are they up to?”

“Jooheon-hyung wouldn’t explain,” Changkyun tells him, sitting up. “You know how he is, only telling us what we need to know.” Kihyun rolls his eyes in aggravation, sitting back further into the couch. Changkyun smiles fondly at the older, adding, “He does it to keep us safe. You know that.”

“Doesn’t mean I have to like it,” Kihyun grumbles, crossing his arms across his chest stubbornly. Changkyun chuckles at his hyung’s behavior, and scoots close until his face is mere inches from the older’s. His eyes glance down towards Kihyun’s lips, slowly leaning in, but then pauses. His eyes begin to blink rapidly as he studies Kihyun’s eyes, and he pulls away.

“What’s wrong, hyung?” Changkyun asks, his lighthearted tone growing serious. “Is your leg bothering you again?” Kihyun instinctively grips his right thigh, which earns a whimper of concern. “Don’t worry, hyung. Jooheon-hyung said that he’s close to getting enough to get you a prosthetic, just like he promised. It won’t be long now.”

“He’s been saying that for months, Kyunnie,” Kihyun can’t help but sigh. He squirms away from his boyfriend, grabbing for his crutches and moving towards the bags hidden away in the entryway closet. Changkyun doesn’t say anything else until Kihyun returns to see his confused pout. Kihyun’s heartbeat slows at the expression, guilt filling him at saying what he did. He didn’t want to fight with the younger about this again.

“Is something else bothering you?” Changkyun asks, moving to help the older with the supplies. Kihyun sucks in a breath through his teeth, wracking his brain for something to say that’ll end this discussion.

“Just tired, I guess,” he sighs out at last, trying for a small smile. “It’s been a long day.” Changkyun comes to stand beside him and peers into his eyes once more, not quite believing him. Kihyun sees the conflict in his eyes, wanting to continue the discussion but also not wanting to press him. Kihyun finds himself leaning in to give Changkyun a slow, deep kiss in hopes that the younger will get too distracted to press on. He reaches over, placing his free hand against the back of his boyfriend’s neck to hold him in place as he moves his lips against the younger’s. “Really,” he whispers, pressing his forehead against the younger’s as he pulls away, “I’m fine.”

Changkyun hesitates another moment before finally nodding. He presses another kiss against the older’s lips, and then begins setting out the sleeping bags and lanterns. Kihyun swallows down his own guilt at lying to the younger, but knows it’s for the better. He doesn’t want his doubts getting back to Jooheon, after all. And Changkyun, the innocent boy that he is, wouldn’t think anything of repeating their conversations to the mastermind of their group. No, it’s better to keep his thoughts to himself, to keep them both safe from Jooheon’s manipulative tactics to keep them in line.

 

“I can get you what you need,” Jooheon murmurs, breaking apart a twig as he speaks. The older man sighs heavily, rubbing at his eyes.

“The hospital bills are too much,” Hyunwoo says, his soft voice floating along the ash-filled air. There’s been another insurrection not too far from the capital, where they are, but it failed. Again. It seems nothing will get them out of this mess their beloved country has become since the civil war. “They say he needs a new treatment, too, which will only add more. I’m already so far into debt with the hospital that they won’t administer the treatment unless I pay upfront.”

Jooheon sighs tiredly, throwing the remnants of the stick further down the alley they’re currently sitting in. He wishes he could get enough of the drug ready in time, but there’s only so much Delphinium around here… He has to save as much extract as he can.

“I can help you get the money, hyung,” Jooheon insists. Hyunwoo shakes his head, running his hands through his dark hair.

“I’m not going to steal, Jooheon-ah,” Hyunwoo argues, already knowing what Jooheon is suggesting. This isn’t the first time they’ve had this discussion, after all. “If I get caught, my father is done for.”

“If you don’t try whatever you can, your father is done for,” Jooheon presses on, his suddenly harsh tone causing the older to flinch. The gentle approach hasn’t worked with Hyunwoo up to this point. Now it’s time for a different tactic. He stands, brushing off his pants. “Look, hyung. You know I don’t want that to happen, neither of you deserve that kind of tragedy, but you’ve tried doing things by the book. Maybe it’s time to throw that book out the window…” He pauses, watching the older to see if his words have reached him on some level. Hyunwoo merely sits there, head bent down, refusing to acknowledge the younger’s words.

“I’ve gotta go, hyung,” Jooheon sighs, shaking his head at the older’s stubbornness. “If you change your mind, you know where to find me.” Hyunwoo hums, and Jooheon turns on his heel and exits the alley. He can’t spend all night there, no matter how much he wants to bring Hyunwoo in as soon as possible. He’s got other things he needs to check on before he gets home.

 

Minhyuk leans against the gatepost, watching the lights in the house looming before him switch off one by one. Finally, after all the lights are off, he sees the second-floor window he knows so well open. A skinny form steps out through it, stepping slowly on the thin banister that wraps itself around the house, and follows it to the drainpipe. The escapee then shimmies down the pipe soundlessly, landing on the ground deftly as he then turns away from the house and sprints over to where Minhyuk stands.

“Have you been waiting long, hyung?” Hyungwon asks him, his voice low. Minhyuk hums, shaking his head. He smiles brightly at the younger, and grasps his wrist tightly to lead him away from his father’s house.

“How was your day, Hyungwonnie?” Minhyuk says, pulling the younger to be in-step with himself, looping their arms together. Hyungwon hums contentedly at the nearness, and glances up at the stars in thought. Minhyuk watches him, reveling in the beauty of the young man before him. Hyungwon parts his plump lips to answer, but Minhyuk suddenly freezes upon noticing something amiss, a pout replacing his smile.

“Why do you have a split lip?” Minhyuk questions. He drops the younger’s arm and grabs for his face instead, pulling it closer to him for a better inspection. Hyungwon’s pupils seem to begin to shake, though it’s hard to tell in the moonlight, as they dart around to look at everything in the street except his boyfriend. Minhyuk sighs exasperatedly, releasing the younger’s face with a small push.

“Hyung…” Hyungwon begins tiredly, but Minhyuk shakes his head, already walking away as he feels his aggravation spike.

“Don’t try to excuse that, Hyungwon-ah,” Minhyuk tells him. “Your father did it, and you can’t convince me otherwise.”

“It’s not as bad as it looks, really.”

“Why do you always defend him?!” Minhyuk demands, whirling around to face the taller. Hyungwon glances down in defeat, unable to bring himself to face Minhyuk’s eyes shining with tears.

“He’s my father…” is all Hyungwon can bring himself to say.

“That doesn’t give him the right to treat you like dirt,” Minhyuk insists, reiterating the same stance he’s expressed time and time again. He breathes in deeply, releasing the breath in a shaky exhale as he steps closer to Hyungwon. Hyungwon flinches at the sudden movement, and Minhyuk’s heart twinges in pain at the instinct. He slowly reaches out, grabbing both of the younger’s hands tightly, reassuringly.

“You don’t need to put up with that, Hyungwonnie,” he tells him gently. “We could run away, leave this place. You deserve so much better than—”

“Sorry, hyung,” Hyungwon interrupts, his voice thick with exhaustion at having the same argument over and over, “but I can’t do that. He’d chase after me, I know it. Then he’d find out about us, and I can’t let anything happen to you.” His voice cracks as he goes on, finally bringing his gaze up to the older to show the clear fear on his face.

Minhyuk’s heart cries at the expression, and all he can do is pull the younger in for a comforting embrace.

“One day,” he whispers, “we’ll be free of all this. Just wait, Wonnie, you’ll see.”

 


	2. Lost: Chapter Two

Minhyuk leads Hyungwon across town, to the current hideout of their friends. Or rather, Minhyuk’s friends. Hyungwon, despite knowing the others for almost a year now, a little less than as long as he’s known Minhyuk, is nervous as he follows his boyfriend. The others have slowly accepted him, granted, but Kihyun still remains defensive around him. Not that Hyungwon can blame the older.

He is the general’s son, after all.

 

“We’re out of food,” is the first thing Kihyun says at seeing whose joined them. Minhyuk rolls his eyes at the typical statement, it being something the shorter usually says if he and Hyungwon arrive too late. Hyungwon tries for a small smile, hoping to set the older at ease, but he busies himself with hobbling around the room to pick up the various dishes from their meal.

“Let me, hyung,” Changkyun immediately says, standing quickly to help. Kihyun gives him a short nod and goes to the kitchen, and the sound of running water can be heard as he starts to run a sink full of soapy water to clean the plates and cups.

“It’s amazing you’re still finding houses with running water,” Minhyuk comments, moving further into the dilapidated house to take a seat. Hyungwon wordlessly follows, sitting cross-legged on the floor. Hoseok shifts in his seat on the couch, frowning slightly at the papers in his hands.

“Jooheon-ah,” the older murmurs, pulling at Jooheon’s sleeve to get his attention. Jooheon glances over, and frowns at seeing what the older is pointing to.

“That can’t be right,” Jooheon sighs. He and Hoseok share a nod, and then they leave the room without another word to anyone.

“Kihyunnie does always manage to find us the best houses,” Hyunwoo agrees, as if the two hadn’t just left their company. Changkyun hums fondly at this, and scurries into the kitchen with dishes held firmly in his grasp. Hyungwon glances after him, humming thoughtfully. Something feels different about tonight, though he can’t explain why.

“Is everything okay?” Hyungwon finds himself asking. Minhyuk sets a hand on his knee, patting it affectionately.

“I got some news at the hospital today,” Hyunwoo mumbles slowly, “but other than that I suppose so. I don’t see why it wouldn’t be.” He sighs as scooches down in his chair, adding, “Same old, same old.”

“Things seem a bit… _tense_ , hyung,” Minhyuk speaks up, putting Hyungwon’s thoughts into words as perfectly as always. Hyunwoo hums, shrugging. The couple exchange a glance, not liking the energy in the room but not knowing what they could possibly do to fix it.

 

In the kitchen, Changkyun dries the dishes Kihyun hands him, and puts them into neat stacks on the counter. He watches as Kihyun works, noting with adoration the focused little pout his lips fall into. It’s a normal expression for whenever the older is concentrating on something, a look Changkyun has seen countless times before, but it never fails to give him butterflies in his stomach.

“You’re staring, Kyunnie,” Kihyun notes upon noticing the younger’s gaze on him, his voice hard. Changkyun quickly averts his gaze, though he can’t keep down the small chuckle that escapes him.

“I can’t help it hyung,” Changkyun defends, adding a whine to his voice for extra effect. “You’re so cute when you’re working hard on something.” Kihyun rolls his eyes in response, but Changkyun catches a flicker of a smile on the older’s lips.

“Just dry the dishes, dongsaeng,” is all Kihyun can say to the younger, not wanting to show how amused he truly is. He doesn’t want to let his guard down with Minhyuk’s boyfriend in the house. He swears, if Minhyuk bothered using his brain half as much as he used to, before the war, they’d have already overthrown this new regime. But, he’s too infatuated with that boy to be bothered, apparently. Ever since Hyungwon strutted into his life, he’s all Minhyuk ever bothers working for.

“I wish you’d give Hyungwon-hyung a chance,” Changkyun comments softly, as if hearing his thoughts. Kihyun glances over surprisedly at the younger’s words, to which Changkyun merely says, “You had that look in your eye that you get whenever you’re forced to stay in the room with Hyungwonnie-hyung for too long.” Kihyun can’t help but chuckle at this, shaking his head at how observant his boyfriend is.

“I just can’t help it,” Kihyun tells him, keeping his voice low so as not to be overheard. “Maybe one day I’ll warm up to him, but I don’t know. There’s just something about him that makes me think he’s trouble, not only for us, but for Minhyuk, in particular.”

“It’s because of who his father is,” Changkyun says plainly, “but I can’t blame you for that. I just hope for all our sakes that one day you’ll feel differently.” Kihyun hums, leaning closer to the younger. The night air has grown chilly, a sure sign of the oncoming winter, and the two young men can’t help but snuggle even closer to escape the cold.

 

Jooheon returns to the remnants of the living room, sitting down on the couch with a sigh. Minhyuk gives him a questioning look, to which the younger only shrugs before beginning to tap out a beat on his knee. Hyungwon glances back at the kitchen, making sure he stills hears the running water before asking his question.

“Jooheon-ssi,” Hyungwon says, earning a friendly smile from the younger, “how close are you to getting a prosthetic for Kihyun-ah?” Jooheon pauses a moment, and then releases a sigh.

“Not as close as I’d like,” he answers truthfully. “There’s been a couple of setbacks, so it may not be for another few months now.”

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Hyungwon presses on. “I can give you some money if that’s what’s—”

“Thank you, hyung,” Jooheon interrupts, though he shakes his head. “I appreciate the offer, but it’s my responsibility. I’ll take care of it, one way or another.” Hyungwon nods in understanding, and turns his attention instead to the youngest returning to the room.

“Are you sleeping here tonight, hyung?” he asks. Changkyun asks Hyungwon this question every time, but every time it’s the same answer.

“Not tonight, Kyunnie,” Hyungwon tells him with a grateful smile, “but thank you for the offer.” Changkyun nods, sitting down next to Jooheon and drumming out a beat on his knees. Kihyun follows soon after, perching himself on the edge of the couch and setting his crutches against the wall beside him. Jooheon watches his movements with a hint of regret in his eyes, and it hurts Hyungwon’s heart to see. Jooheon, as far as he’s seen, is such a caring soul for everyone, trying to take care of and protect them, but there’s some things that he’s been unable to do as of yet.

For instance, paying Kihyun back for his sacrifice in joining his failed rebellion against the oppressive government that had taken over. He knows for a fact that Jooheon regrets what Kihyun has lost more than most things in this world. If only he would accept Hyungwon’s help, then he’d have that weight off his shoulders once and for all.

“Are we ready?” Hoseok asks, reentering the room with a tight smile. The older’s voice shakes Hyungwon from his thoughts, and he shrugs in response, watching as the others nod their heads, most excitedly, but two a bit slower than the rest. With a clapping of his hands, Jooheon stands, and turns to lead the others from the room. Changkyun moves to help Kihyun up, but the older merely shoos him away, giving him a small smile of gratitude.

But, Hyungwon can see the small fire of anger flickering within his eyes, just as he sees everything else within this group that none of them dare mention.


	3. Lost: Chapter Three

Hyungwon remembers his first Ritual as if it were yesterday. It had only been a month after Minhyuk and he met, and he was seriously reconsidering dating the older if this turned out to be a regular thing. Of course, afterwards, he couldn’t deny how _good_ the elixir had made him feel, as if he could take on the world. He came off the high after only a couple hours, though, and was left feeling empty and useless once more…

He couldn’t help but hurry back as soon as he could to this makeshift cult.

 

Everyone makes their way to the tent set up just passed the back door of the house. They each take their normal seats, and begin to paint their faces in the markings they’ve been painting on themselves ever since the beginning. Jooheon starts a small fire in the center, and pulls a small vial from his pocket. Shining blue liquid sloshes around inside, drawing the attention of everyone in the tent. They all stare at it hungrily, as if it’s the key to everything they need to fix the world.

Jooheon moves to pour some of the liquid into an ornate bowl, and clasps it with a pair of long tongs.

“ _Sad and beautiful youth_ ,” Jooheon begins, holding the blue liquid above the open flame, “ _inside the repeating time where the end can’t be seen, in the space where it’s dangerous and uneasy_ …”

“ _We, The Clan, do solemnly swear on our honor, lives and everything that we have, to the X-CLAN, that we will defend ourselves_ ,” Changkyun picks up at his usual spot in the chant. Kihyun turns the younger’s face toward him, gently brushing the paint onto his face once he’s finished speaking with his fingers.

“ _We, betting on everything that we have, solemnly swear that we will abide by everything said in this oath_ ,” Shownu continues, watching with almost begging eyes as the liquid begins to bubble. “ _First, filling up our empty hearts. First, finding the right path and going down that path. First, never leaving anyone behind. We become one, protecting the X-CLAN_.”

“ _We swear to give our all to protect the X-CLAN_ ,” Hyungwon murmurs absentmindedly, licking his lips in anticipation.

“ _We vow to risk our everything to protect the X-CLAN_ ,” Minhyuk adds in. He tears his gaze away from the elixir for a single moment, shooting a small smile to Hyungwon, and grasps his hand tightly. The touch grounds Hyungwon where he sits, anchoring him to reality as Delphinium smoke begins to fill their small tent.

“ _We walked together, we fought together, we grew_ ,” Hoseok mutters, his words falling from his mouth in a hurry. His head snaps to the side, and he takes a deep breath of the smoke in through his nose to calm himself, though it only serves to escalate the effects of the flower.

“ _In front of this new road_ ,” Kihyun declares as always, “ _we swear on everything we have to protect what is next_.”

“ _We will become one_ ,” Jooheon finishes, “ _and protect the X-CLAN_.”

The bubbling in the bowl escalates, and Jooheon decides it’s heated well enough. He pulls the bowl from the flame, and passes it around wrapped in towels to the others after waiting a moment for it to cool. Hyungwon is the first to drink, the scorching hot liquid a welcome burn in his throat. He then passes it to Minhyuk, who laps up the elixir as if it’s the first thing he’s drunk after a millennia-long excursion in the desert.

Jooheon watches with a small, almost unreadable smile as each of the others have a similar reaction to the elixir. He doesn’t bother drinking the droplets left in the bowl once it gets back to him. Everyone is too far gone, too affected by the Delphinium flooding their senses, to even notice him merely setting the bowl on the ground beside him. The others writhe, leaning this way and that and breathing heavily. Changkyun and Kihyun press their foreheads against one another, leaning closely.

Kihyun grips the back of Changkyun’s neck tightly and closes the distance between them, capturing the younger’s lips in a starving kiss. Jooheon glances away, hoping the two don’t get too carried away like they did last time. _That_ , luckily, no one else remembered. Hoseok leans against Hyunwoo, who’s laughing deliriously, a blush coming to his tan cheeks. Hyungwon and Minhyuk seem the least gone, though, gazing around at the others with interested expressions.

Jooheon notes their intertwined fingers, how the two seem to tighten their grip on each other as soon as one begins to drift away. The grip seems to bring them back to reality, somehow. Jooheon looks over to Kihyun and Changkyun again, noting the difference between the two couples with interest.

Kihyun’s head suddenly whips around to gaze at Jooheon, the light in his eyes almost accusatory. The stare sends a shiver down Jooheon’s spine, though he doesn’t let his discomfort show. The older continues to stare at him until Changkyun recalls his attention by leaving a dark hickey on his boyfriend’s neck.

Jooheon has to hold back a knowing sigh. Despite the older having not voiced any complaints around him recently, he know Kihyun still doesn’t like how long it’s taking to get his prosthetic.

 _He’s losing his faith_ , Jooheon notes dully. _Knowing him, he’ll start asking questions soon enough… Maybe I should keep him at arm’s length for now, until I can get him what he’s owed._

Jooheon nods to himself, thinking that to be a good idea. He looks up, feeling a pair of eyes on him, and can’t help but squirm at meeting Hyungwon’s gaze.

 _This one, too_ , he can’t help but mentally add. _I should keep him away, for now. I have a feeling he notices a lot more than he lets on. I can’t have him seeing too much and ruining everything…_

At dawn, each of the boys begins to awaken. Kihyun is the first to come to his senses, the sunlight a welcome warmth to his skin. He sits up, looking around at the others. Changkyun murmurs something in his sleep, stirring slightly. Kihyun chuckles affectionately, and shakes the younger’s shoulder to get him to awaken. His eyelids crack open, and he stares blearily up at Kihyun.

There’s a groan a bit further away, and Hoseok bolts up, scratching the back of his head. He pouts as he looks around, as if trying to get his bearings.

Mornings after Rituals are always like this: early, slow-going, and a bit disorienting. It’s almost as if they’re all hungover, but without the headache and nausea.

Kihyun instinctively begins to do a headcount, noting with a creased brow Jooheon’s absence. He tries to remember if the younger had come in with them after the Ritual the previous night, but can’t seem to recall much. It’ll come back to him later, slowly but surely. It always does.

“Hyung,” Changkyun calls with a cracking voice, earning Kihyun’s immediate attention, “I’m hungry. Can we make breakfast now?”

Kihyun can’t help but chuckle at this, leaning down to kiss his boyfriend’s forehead before moving to get up and comply with the request.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All dialogue during the Ritual are the official oaths MONSTA X gave to us as teasers throughout The Clan series. I changed up some of the wording, and also the order for cohesion's sake.


	4. Lost: Chapter Four

 “A little faster,” Jooheon requests, cocking his head thoughtfully. Changkyun complies, and beats out a slightly faster rhythm against the steel box he's sitting in. Jooheon hums appreciatively, and moves to get up from his seat. He then climbs atop a stack of boxes, throws his arms out wide to either side of himself and dives into a rap the likes of which few have ever heard. He spits out rhyme after rhyme about the oppressive soldiers standing not ten feet away from them, about how one day all this will fall.

Not exactly the most low-key form of protest, the boys will admit, but it gets their point across.

Changkyun joins in, eventually taking over with a rap of his own. Hoseok and Kihyun harmonize their voices, and throw in ad-libs to back up the boys every so often. Hyunwoo stands a bit away from them all, providing a solid base beat with a metal ladle he uses to give them the beats once Changkyun abandons such a task. Minhyuk and Hyungwon sit a bit off to the side, chuckling at their friends’ antics.

“You sure it's okay for you to be here?” Minhyuk murmurs to Hyungwon, picking at a spare twig he picked up on their way to the underpass. Hyungwon hums, eyes shining fondly at the group around him.

“They're just singing,” Hyungwon shrugs. “They can't get arrested for that. It isn't as if they have any weapons or anything.” Minhyuk hums thoughtfully, unconsciously leaning closer to the younger protectively. He leans back and casually places an arm around the boy’s shoulders.

Hyungwon has to fight off the urge to lean into the touch. He recognizes a couple of the soldiers at the end of the street, and knows that if they see anything his father might not like they'd love nothing more than to report it to him. All the soldiers in town are so desperate to get into the general’s good graces, they'd do just about anything.

 

The boys spend most of the day like this, singing together and spending some quality bonding time with one another. It's times like this that it's easy for Kihyun to forget about what kind of world they live in, what hell they've been through just to emerge in this purgatory.

However, even on days like today, moments like this are fleeting. Reality always has a way of dumping its icy water onto your soul and awakening you from whatever warm comfort you've created for yourself.

 

“Chae Hyungwon!” a stern, hard voice shouts. The group of boys turn as one to see General Chae himself stomping his way over to them. Kihyun squints his eyes accusingly at Hyungwon, silently demanding to know just how the man had thought to look for them here, as this isn't an area he tends to frequent. However, judging from the tensing of the younger’s shoulders, and how his eyes seem to shake suddenly in fear, he had no idea what his father is doing here either.

He notes the way Minhyuk's hand squeezes Hyungwon's shoulder, almost as if in reassurance, before the boy stands.

“Hello, Father,” Hyungwon says softly, bowing so low his head becomes level with the older man’s waist. “How are you on this fine afternoon?”

“Don't play coy with me, boy,” the man spits at his son, the harshness of his tone causing Kihyun to bristle defensively. He shuffles against his crutches, and takes a deep breath to calm himself. It isn't as if he likes Hyungwon all that much, but the way the man is speaking to him, so abrasively and for no reason, doesn't sit well with him. Changkyun notices the movement, and places a gentle hand at the base of Kihyun's spine to draw calming little circles in the space. Kihyun breathes deeply once more, drawing strength from the touch.

“I… I'm not sure I know what you mean, sir.”

“What're you doing hanging around these rebels?!” Hyungwon's father yells, a string of saliva flying from his lips and landing square on Hyungwon's cheek. The boy doesn't flinch at the fluid, as if this is a normal occurrence.

“They're just singing, Father,” Hyungwon defends, his eyes remaining downcast as he straightens up. Kihyun is struck by how much shorter the general seems to be than his son. Clearly, he had gotten both his looks and his height from his mother. “There's no law against singing in public. They don't have any weapons, either, so they aren't violating any peace-keeping laws that I know of.”

The cold sound of flesh colliding against flesh echoes throughout the air. Hyungwon licks his lips, blinking away what fragments of tears the sudden slap had seemed to bring. He clenches and unclenches his fists at his sides, as if trying to hold himself back. Kihyun is too shocked to react for a moment, appalled by the undeserved action made by the general.

“Go home,” the general mutters to his son, his voice filled with absolute contempt. “We'll continue discussing this there.”

Hyungwon seemingly hesitates for a moment, but complies soon enough. He walks away without a glance back at the others.

The retreating backside of the younger, with his head bent down, calls Kihyun to action. He moves forward, whether to drag Hyungwon back or to pummel that slimy old man with his crutches, he isn't too sure. He just has to do something. However, a hand holds him in his place.

The general, after sparing one last look of disgust at the group of boys, turns on his heel and follows his son away.

 

The boys are silent for a long time after Hyungwon leaves, the lighthearted air that had surrounded them completely dissipated. Eventually, Kihyun mutters out an excuse to leave, unable to stand the atmosphere anymore. Changkyun doesn't even hesitate before scurrying after him, eager to get away as well. This gives the others an opportunity to leave, each going their own ways. Minhyuk is left alone, burning with silent rage where he sits.

He glares at the ground, the sound of Hyungwon's father slapping him still ringing in his ears. His father’s abuse has always been a sore point in their relationship. Minhyuk, ever since meeting the younger, has urged him to either stand up to his father, or run away. Either way, he can't count the number of times he's told the younger to put an end to the situation.

 _He has to see now that he doesn't deserve this kind of life_ , Minhyuk silently hopes. He sighs deeply, leaning his head back against the concrete wall behind him. _Surely he sees it now_ …


	5. Lost: Chapter Five

Kihyun angrily plops down on the couch, finally having found another hideaway for their group. He had spent hours with Changkyun just walking around, trying to find somewhere with water and enough space for them. Places like this are becoming fewer and further between as time in this regime wears on, whatever useful houses that are left crumbling to a state of rubble due to the lasting radiation in the air around them. Honestly, if things don’t begin improving soon, they’re all just corpses waiting to drop.

“Hyung?” Changkyun asks wearily, knowing full well that light within the older’s eyes. He sits down, leaning his head over to rest on the shorter’s shoulder. “Hyung, what’s the matter?”

“I want to punch the general clear out of this country,” Kihyun grumbles. “Just one good punch to land him in the middle of the ocean, where he can drown.” Changkyun chuckles, nuzzling affectionately into Kihyun’s shoulder. Kihyun sighs, leaning his head atop the younger’s as he feels his aggravation slowly ebbing away at the affection. “I can’t believe he just hit Hyungwon-ah… We were all standing right there… That man has absolutely no shame or sense of decency.” He then pauses, adding as he bites his lower lip, “I didn’t know he had to live in that kind of situation… Maybe we should offer him a permanent spot at our safe houses.”

“I didn’t even think you liked Hyungwon-hyung,” Changkyun teases, earning a light swat from his boyfriend.  He chuckles as he continues. “I’ve heard Minhyuk-hyung and him arguing about it before when they thought no one was paying attention to them. Minhyuk-hyung mentioned something about running away, but Hyungwon-hyung didn’t like the idea. He seems pretty loyal to his father, even though he abuses him.” Kihyun hums thoughtfully, noting with a loving smirk how perceptive his dongsaeng can be at times.

“If he runs away,” Kihyun says thoughtfully, “they’re going to have to leave the province, maybe even the country. They wouldn’t be able to stay with us, or else they’d risk being found.” Changkyun frowns at this, though he knows it's true. Kihyun coos, pulling at the younger’s cheeks.

“Hyung!” he complains, though he can't help but smile at the attention. Kihyun chuckles, pulling him close by his arm and snuggling. He sighs contentedly, surprised at how he can still find such pure happiness in these dark times. He tightens his hold on Changkyun, silently daring anyone to try and separate them.

 

Jooheon follows Hoseok down the abandoned alleyway, to the warehouse. He pushes the plastic sheets aside that make up for a door, sighing as he does so.

“Did you know?” Hoseok asks, the first thing he's said since leaving the group. Jooheon knows exactly what the older is referring to, and shakes his head. He had had no idea Hyungwon’s father treated him in such a way. Hoseok breathes deeply, shaking his head. “Neither did I. I've been so caught up with this project that I haven't been noticing much of anything lately.” There's a hint of regret in his voice, and Jooheon knows why. This has become a regular topic with them.

“Don't worry, hyung,” he says gently, reaching to consolingly grasp Hoseok by the arm. “We’re almost finished now. As long as we don't have anymore setbacks, the final stage can even begin by the end of this month.”

“So Hyunwoo-ya has agreed?” Hoseok asks surprisedly.

“He will,” Jooheon answers, earning a chuckle of exasperation from the older. “I even gave him a mask earlier. Next time I see him, I'm sure he’ll agree.”

“Jooheon-ah,” Hoseok begins, but Jooheon holds up a hand to stop him.

“Hyung,” Jooheon says, “leave the recruiting to me, alright? You just focus on the distillery.”

As they speak, they make their way through the dimly lit warehouse to the far end of the room. There sits a machine covered by sheets of plastic. Beside it is a table, the surface of which is covered by blueprints. Jooheon goes to the table, studying the plans.

“You're right about one thing,” Hoseok says, pulling off the plastic sheet in one swift motion. “By the end of the month this thing is going to start pumping out elixir, one way or another…”

 

“I'm sorry, Mr. Son,” the doctor says, sighing tiredly. “Your father isn't responding to any of the typical treatments, and the experimental treatments have to be paid for out-of-pocket.”

Hyunwoo nods, blankly looking through the glass separating him from his father’s room. This is pretty much the same thing the doctor had told him the day before, though both of them know he can't afford such treatments. The doctor gives him an apologetic smile, and then turns to check on the other patients. Hyunwoo returns to his father’s side, staring thoughtfully at his motionless for. Memories of the last conversation he had with Jooheon ring in his ears.

 

 _“What you're talking about is illegal, Jooheon-ah_ ,” _he had argued with the younger only a day ago._

 _“We won't get caught_ ,” _Jooheon had promised. “Look, just one bank job and you're golden. You can pay for your dad’s bills and new treatments. You can help him get better. You can_ save _him.”_

_The wording had given Hyunwoo pause then, still honestly does. But, then he had shaken his head and disregarded the topic._

_“It’s wrong,_ ” _Hyunwoo had said._ “ _My dad wouldn't thank me for curing him with stolen money. In fact, he'd probably disown me.”_

_“But he'd be alive.”_

Hyunwoo shakes his mind free of the conversation. His gaze hardens as he stares at his father.

 _He'd be alive_ , Hyunwoo mentally repeats over and over. He can almost feel his own desperation growing inside of him, eating away at whatever sense of morality holds him at bay. _He’d be alive. He'd be alive._

Hyunwoo stands, gripping the mask Jooheon had given him tightly in his grip.

“I promise,” he says to his father, though he knows the man can't hear him, “I'll keep you alive.”

And, with that, he turns to leave the hospital. He knows what he has to do now.


End file.
